you can feel the season changing, a bright summer smile about to unexpectedly walk into a industrial flash freezer. a million people sit watching at home, waiting for summer to finally fail, “I told you so.”

one week til vacation.

thank god.

my body is about to fall apart, and my head feels like someone planted a million chinese firecrackers inside and are setting them off one by one.

i may have contracted a mild case of the melodrama along the way.

it’s like i need someone to tell me that i’m doing good, to believe it. i guess things are all good, mostly. kurt vonnegut called them the “bad brain chemicals”, and mine try to lie to me constantly.

despair, doom, depression, desperation. inevitability.

fear is the mind-killer.

it’s my constant companion. dragging me down. it takes all my energy to maintain. i have nothing left when i hit the end of the week. so much so that i can barely get it together to write this.

vacation is in one week. like a mantra in my head. keeping me focused after a week/month/season of insanity. vacation… and THEN we’ll decide what to do.

listening: modeselektor – boogy bytes vol 3

~ by getbackwards on October 16, 2011.

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