on the importance of never saying never.

after an afternoon of reading eggbeater (an excellent blog btw), i feel a bit better about my life. almost everything she says is true.

i have some serious problems every time someone asks me what i do besides work. I usually say “oh, i don’t know, hang out with friends, drink beer, whatever”, which is essentially true. but the truth of it is that anyone who works in a kitchen has a really hard time leading anything close to what could be considered a “normal” lifestyle. here’s a list of things that make it so:

i never go to bed before 2:30am, ever.
i haven’t been on a date in over 4 months
because how can you when you finish work at close to 1am?
girls who are willing to accept a cook’s schedule are rare
i feel too tired to do anything on at least one of my days off.
i literally live paycheque to paycheque.
and there’s not much i can do about it
cooks are broke as fuck.
what, exactly are labour standards? i’d like to know
what’s this “overtime” you’re talking about?
i like it when people come to eat at my restaurant
because likely its the only time i’ll get to see them
same goes for meeting me for beers at 130am.

the only meal i’ve cooked at home in the past 3 months is pasta.
sometimes with sauce, usually just cheese.
guess why.
because any food that is fresh, doesn’t come from a can or box
goes bad.
because i’m not home to eat it.

i’m too wired to go to bed.
every day.
people say “teg, relax. you need to do yoga. or sports.”
i’m secretly afraid that if i relax too much i’ll lose my edge
which i desperately need.

if i don’t have the edge, i’ll have nothing left. a lazy, relaxed nonentity.

relaxing is failing.

but you know, maybe i don’t know how. and if i learned to relax, it’s possible that i’d come out of it
more accurate
mind like a razor
and easier to deal with

but, i guess you never say no to possiblities. relaxing, maybe i’ll see you one day.
until then
i remain

listening: Talking Heads – The Name of This Band is Talking Heads

~ by getbackwards on September 12, 2011.

One Response to “on the importance of never saying never.”

  1. “Once in a Lifetime” – named one of the 100 most important American musical works of the 20th century by National Public Radio.

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