grey fever

spring fever is supposed to be upon us. instead, i’m plagued by this teasing, coy, switcheroo hussy of a season.

one day, beautiful sun and warm breezes.

another, dark clouds and bitter cold.

i want to feel the warmth on my skin. i want to wear shorts and drink coffee outside.  i want girls to stop wearing knee-length winter coats.

indecision is all around me, it’s hard to resist.

the date of actual season change has been set. i leave for NYC on april 25. the time has come to realize my dream of visiting the site of all those delicious hip-hop songs i love so much. oh, and i guess there’s some pretty cool restaurants there as well.

does people’s perception of you change your perception of yourself?

all my life i’ve been surrounded by people telling me how special i am, and that i am different from others. and i feel like i’ve spent a lot of time making bad decisions to somehow prove them wrong.

because how do people really know you are going to be something? all parents and adults tell children that they will grow up to be successful. some kind of juvenile programming.

everyone questions themselves. i question everything. i want to know the reason why things are the way they are. for better or worse. and it’s probably human nature to think that you are not good.

and it’s probably this terrible grey weather that makes me think like this.

maybe i am good. and special. but so are you.

listening: Cormega – Born and Raised

~ by getbackwards on March 24, 2011.

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