diagnosed

It’s really hard to keep a cooking blog up to date. All I can talk about is my struggles and trials and tribulations, etc etc blah blah etc etc. I like doing this. It’s a hard thing, cooking, especially if you are serious. But sometimes you run out of things you can talk about. It’s usually about two things: how awesome you are, or how shitty you are.

A lot of people, including myself, obsess about this. To be accepted is a wonderful thing. To be rejected, can be soul crushing.

I personally can’t decide what is the deciding factor. In my last post I talked about how even pretending that you are great is enough to make people think you are, but I’m not even sure thats the case. I find that I’m pretty tense overall, and I can’t relax. So how can I make anyone around me feel at ease when I cannot?

It’s an interesting thing, greatness. If you look at the greatest of the greatest, you will likely find people in conflict with themselves. I am not saying i’m in their league, by any means. But it’s a calling card, for sure.

If you’ve worked in a kitchen, you probably know that cooks are slightly crazy. And by slightly crazy I mean totally insane. It’s probably an easy way out for me to self-diagnose my personal problems by just saying that I’m a cook and that’s it that’s all.

I realized recently that this blog is pretty much my diary but I am okay with it. I don’t think many people realize how intense and how consuming cooking is. Especially if you are dedicated. I’m not going to go too much into it because I think too much has been written on the subject, some by me, already.

Stream of consciousness is important.

I interspersed writing this post with watching jazz videos on youtube, and for some reason I really identify with jazz musicians, as I’ve indicated in previous posts. I find jazz simultaneously enthralling and mysterious. The musicians are dangerous and obsessed. It’s an art form that is obscenely difficult, yet given to free form. They are allowed to improvise. But it’s still very important to respect the roots. I think this a thing a lot of people forget. Music and food, the two most important things in most people’s lives, yet they are usually left to the wayside, or given a once-over at best.

It’s really important to demand quality.

It’s also important to respect classicism. It’s fine by me if you are blatantly ripping off someone’s food or music but at least be up front about it.

Listening: Casiopea – Space Road

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~ by getbackwards on January 31, 2011.

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